The Coffee Stain

I am a caffeine addict. That might explain why sometimes the words that come out of my mouth are not as smooth as I intended it to be. Unlike the 2-pie periodic sine graph;

My words are more like the tangent graph where it stops at several intervals;


But they are not exactly like it; they’re just a bit similar. But the heck with it, I’m not here to talk about trigonometry, I’m here to talk about coffee… Well, not really. Errr… I think you should ignore the upper part of this post and just continue reading/looking.

Coffee stained mugs are kick-ass writing medium. Check these pictures out:

The stained mug


Tada.....Hehehe


Now with a spoon!

Ain’t that just artistic?

An Almost Free Substitution

Hahahha, check that out. A whole big jar of ketchups and chilli sauce. Thanks to the mother and (possibly) the father, my family doesn't need to buy any ketchup or chilli sauce.

....Meh... cheap...

A Handshake For Courtesy

A handshake. To some it might be just a gesture to acknowledge someone’s presence. And I agree with that and I believe it should and will remain that way. The ways of handshake might vary depending on culture and tradition, but at the very core of it, it’s just an act of two hands of two different individuals holding each other, jiggling. There isn’t any official rule for how one should pursue on doing this well-known motion so people as a whole usually follow what their elderly do.

Like I said before, culture and tradition are the factors that create the handshake variations. Take the casual ‘western’ handshake for an example:



The steps are easy. Grip it tightly, and shake your hands. Usually one shakes it once or twice but it doesn’t really matter. Plus even if one wishes to shake the hands more than twice or more than ten times, the steps will still remain simple:

Grip > Shake (as much as one likes) > Let Go

And since I’m from Malaysia and I am Malay, I am granted with the wealth of traditions and culture. Logically speaking, it is inevitable for a culture so rich to have its own variation of handshake. This is how the Malay handshake is done:



Still, this one is pretty simple. The obvious differences it has with the casual ‘western’ handshake is that it makes use of both of the hands and one usually do not shake but simply apply pressure to the other person’s hands. The steps are:

Grip > Apply pressure > Let Go

It is simple right? But you know what, life’s not that easy. For some people, they just have to complicate this foolproof, so-easy-to-follow act by adding, at times really complex additions to it. Brown-toothpaste! First, there is the snap-after-shake thing. Honestly, I think it’s pretty cool. Plus, if one of the two doesn’t know that handshake variation, he or she will just have to wait a bit longer before letting his or her hands go. The handshake will still look cool even with the lack of knowledge.



Those who know would follow these steps: Grip > Shake > Snap the thumb with the other person’s thumb > Let Go
Those who don’t know would follow these steps: Grip > Shake > (Wait…) > Let Go

But things can get a little confusing.

Before going to that, here’s a little thing to think about. If once you shook a person’s hand and they give you this variation and you find it OK with that handshake variation, would you snap his or her thumbs the next time you shake hands with him or her? YES! Of course you would. But no… this logic of reasoning doesn’t seem to apply to everyone. It is NOT always true. It’s random. RANDOM!!!

One might think that the complexity of the handshake variation has reached the end, BUT *BZZZEEKKK!!!* wrong answer my friend. It can get more complicated than that. This is true especially when you hang out with the same person who had introduced you the snap-the-thumbs-together type of handshake but now he or she is with his or her other friends. It usually happens at the end of a hang-out session. First, you’ll realize that they are using a totally new variation of handshake and probably you’ll go like:

“Should I follow what they are doing to each other or should I just simply act like a new guy and use the variation of handshake that I’ve learned from the dude that I met earlier?”

It is so freaking confusing!

Even if one gets through that stage, the evolution of handshakes doesn’t end there. No, that would be too easy for anyone with average intellectual level. What type of handshake should you use when you meet the member of the group or gang that uses that complicated handshake individually???

The answer? I don’t flipping know! You know what, why don’t we all just hug each other?



The act is so simple but it is indeed very intimate. But I wouldn’t want to hug a sweaty guy though. They stink. Even girls stink when they sweat but I think I shall reserve this topic for a different post.

And if you’re not comfortable with hugging, you can just give a pat at the back or just go back to basics and use the original handshake variation or the Malay’s variation.



Bak kata pepatah Melayu, marilah kita bersalam-salaman. Adat kita indah. ;-)

The Unknown Capability of Those Things That Get Into Your Ear Holes

Holy crap my brother was correct all along!! I’m talking about earphones. Do you know that you can actually record sounds with those things? Yes, you can actually RECORD SOUNDS with those earwax collectors!



Isn’t this just a moment of history? Now earphones can do more than just screwing into your ear holes and transfer sound waves. They can receive sound waves and turn them into digital signals which can be saved in a normal computer! Awesome! Here’s how I did it.

Plug my earphones into the MICROPHONE hole



Speak to both of the earphones and of course, start recording!



Record with Audacity



Here’s what I’ve recorded. Download

The sound produced is pretty soft so you might want to amplify it with the software you're using. In my case, Audacity. Ain’t that flipping awesome!?!??!?!!! I bet you can already see how this unknown capability would come in handy. Hahhahahha!!! This is so awesome!

By the way, according to my brother, he got this info from either Youtube or Digg, I can’t find the original article but if you do please be kind enough to submit the link through your comments.

Have fun putting your lips wear you've collected wax!!! ;-)

...and this blog is worth

$3.01!!!!

According to Pingoat this blog is worth $3.01. How cool is that?!??!?!!! Hahahahha! Here's the proof:

Laksa Penang

You know how sometime a particular food reflects your culture entirely? If there is one food or meal that will reflect Penang, it will be the laksa. Just take a loot at it. It is indeed the most delicious (in my opinion) food that will ever come from Penang. The cost? Just a mere RM2.50 .



Do you see what I mean?!??!??!?!?!!!! For RM2.50 one can get a piece of heaven that will last at least 15 minutes in one's mouth. That's like economics at its finest.

Aku Emo

Out of boredom and annoyance of listening to an overly emo song on the radio this song was created. I made this song in Bahasa Melayu because this is dedicated directly to the emo kids who like to wander around Time Square and Mid Valley. Throw rocks at them, they won't give you a reaction. It's also fun to poke them around too. Hehehhe. Anyway, enjoy the song! And my voice ain't that good, so bare that in mind. ;-)



Aku Emo

Aku emo (aku emo)
Kau emo (kau emo)
Mari sama-sama jadi budak-budak emo

Aku poyo (aku poyo)
Kau poyo (kau poyo)
Mari sama-sama jadi budak-budak emo

Kau ingat kau ada masalah
Tapi sebenarnya kau tak ada masalah
Kau cuma ingat engkau budak-budak emo

Kau pakai baju hitam (hitam)
Pakai celak hitam (hitam)
Tutup mata sebelah dengan rambut yang panjang

Aku emo (aku emo…~~)
Kau emo (kau emo…~~)
Mari sama-sama jadi budak-budak emo

Aku poyo (aku poyo…~~)
Kau poyo (kau poyo…~~)
Mari sama-sama jadi budak-budak emo

Engkau emo….
Kau kata kau keseorangan
Engkau emo…
Tapi kau jalan dengan kawan-kawan
Engkau emo…
Tak faham erti kehidupan
Engkau emo…
Tapi engkau pergi tengok wayang

Aku emo (aku emo…!)
Kau emo (aku emo…!)
Mari sama-sama jadi budak-budak emo…

-thegoz-

Download Aku Emo

Subscribe and Vote

Hello peeps. I've added some links on the side of this blog so you guys can subscribe or vote this blog.

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So what are you waiting for?!?!? Vote and subscribe!!!

And here is my Technorati Profile

Warriors

Hahaha... I just got back from the movie with the family. We watched 300. The movie that many of my friends wanted me to watch with them but I refused to because I thought that that movie was a sci-fi movie for it being named by a number. I had no idea that this kind of image could have represented a movie named 300:



I shall give this movie 7.2 stars. I'm not so much of a movie guy so don't take my opinion as a form of assistance for you to make the decision of whether to watch this movie or not. But I can assure you that this movie here, embodies masculinity at a whole new level. So if you like six packs and stuff like that, you will definitely enjoy this movie.

And I can't help but to think about this song after watching that movie.

Song: King of Kings
Artist: Manowar
Album: Gods of War

Voices of Victory
All Shout and proclaim
The Kingdom of Glory is mine
The Raise of the will are a prophecy filled

I'm the lord of the day and the night
I have nothing to sell but the power of hell
My Armies of fire awaits
I'm here to be paid for the pact that was made
My payments can never be late

Crack the Earth, Gods of Thunder
Men and beast will be torn asunder
Into the Fight I own the right
To be the King of kings

My Enemies rise and look to the skies
They Pray I will never appear
The Light has no meaning
Awake me I'm dreaming
They live in a castle of fear

I summon the demons that live in the wind
As my Chariot strives in the Storm
With the hot blood of Battle
I wait in my saddle
I live and I'll die by the sword

Crack the Earth, Gods of Thunder
Men and beast will be torn asunder
Into the Fight I own the right
To be the King of kings

All the days of his live
He walked without fear
All who's lives he touched
Were made better for knowing him
As he returned goodness with good
So true is justice and retribution In failing

As my sword is my soul
Then let all who stand before me know
I bring a storm and Magic wind
The Kingdom of the Kings

Download King of Kings

Forever In Malaysia

I found out this cool little program named Rasterbator through Digg and I thought of giving it a try. So here is my result:



I've used this wallpaper which I made myself not long ago:


Pretty cool eh? The bigger the (physical not in pixels) size, the nicer it will look on the wall. I'm thinking of making an 8 A4 papers wide poster with this picture for my classroom:



Damn, I so can imagine how it'll look like... =)

Concept of Welfare

What in the world is welfare? I don’t have a single (good) clue what the scrotum that is. I mean, I know what it does and what it is suppose to do to a society. As in help the poor and so on. However, I am not capable of explaining to someone what in the world the concept of welfare is. Especially to someone who is so educated and critical.

But that situation changed after I googled it on the internet and found piles of donkey poop about it.

Hail Google!!!

So basically, welfare has something to do with helping those who are a bit unfortunate in a society. Because as we all know people are unfortunate not because they themselves suck, but because those who were initially responsible for them did a darn crappy job at raising them and failed to open the door of opportunity that is supposed to be available to everyone. Or maybe even because some people just like to screw around with people’s lives and see they go through those balls grinding hardships.

This is when welfare comes in. It’s like the supporting protagonist of a story. Welfare helps these unfortunate people to at least have minimal resources in order to continue a life where it might not exactly be anywhere close to perfect but (should be) adequate enough to eat, shelter and in certain cases raise the children.

It’s like helping people who need toothpaste. Here’s a little illustration:









Ok, now that I understand the concept of welfare, all I need to do now is to transform these ideas into a composition. HHerrmmm… how ah?

Mak Cik Dobi

This could easily be the first blog post in the world about a person working at a dobby in Malaysia (or maybe even the world). I shall call her Mak Cik Dobi.

Since the midterm break was coming, I sent my clothes to the dobby for I was too lazy to wash my clothes with the crappy washer machines provided at our college. After having put my laundries in a plastic big, I walked towards the dobby looking all stupid with some of dirty shirts dangling out of the plastic. It’s a shameful walk that one does not need not to do. So kids, if you want to send your clothes to the dobby, make sure you have those stylo-milo laundry bags (like the one my roommate is having right now).

After reaching at the dobby, Mak Cik Dobi weighed my laundry and asked for my name.

Mak Cik Dobi: Oh, ok nak ambil baju hari apa?
Amir: HHhhmm… Hari Sabtu buka tak kedai ni? Kalau buka hari Sabtu, saya ambil hari Sabtu kot.
Mak Cik Dobi: Eh, mesti lah buka… Awal-awal lagi Mak Cik dah buka. Macam lebih kurang pukul sembilan macam itu dah buka.
Amir: Saya datang tengah hari ya.
Mak Cik Dobi: Boleh…. Nama apa?
Amir: Amir bin Othman
Mak Cik Dobi: Amir…?
Amir: Yup…
Mak Cik Dobi: Amir sebelum ni ada hantar baju dekat sini tak?
Amir: Masa dulu-dulu ada lah. Tapi dah lama lah, macam dalam bulan Julai atau Ogos macam tu.
Mak Cik Dobi: Amir ada hilang jeans tak?
Amir: Huh? Tak perasan lah pula, tapi saya memang yang jenis tak berapa perasan.
Mak Cik Dobi: Sekejap ya, Mak Cik ambil jeans tu.
---
Amir: (holy cow, that’s my effing jeans man!!!) Eh, ini jeans saya ni Mak Cik!
Mak Cik Dobi: Ha, tu lah, Mak Cik dah dekat setengah tahun simpan. Alhamdulillah datang juga Amir ambil baju ni, dah lama dah Mak Cik cuba tanya budak-budak Kolej Cendana tapi tak ada siapa-siapa pun tahu.
Amir: Huhu… terima kasih Mak Cik..!

For those of you who didn’t read (or didn’t catch) the story this is a little summary of it. Mak Cik Dobi gave my jeans which were unwarily missing for longer than seven full months!! Donkey Kong balls man!!!! It is as if I got a free pair of jeans! Haha!!!

It is very hard to find kind people such as Mak Cik Dobi. And although not all good people get good things, they undeniably deserve so. So here, I’m doing a little free advertisement for the dobby, despite the fact that this blog has very few readers.

Dobi MAJU!!!! The best Dobi in Seksyen 6 and could easily be one of the top 3 best dobi in Shah Alam or even Selangor!!!! YEah!

Although such occurrence could be very common, it could be very life teaching as well. It gave hope to prove that kind people actually exist and there are people who don’t only have their eyes on the money in my pocket when doing business. Yes, this could be super cheesy but hey, how many times can you prove that good, genuinely nice people exist without them being either weird or hated?

It is hard to meet nice people because everyone who actually attempts to seek a nice person, the first thing that will come up in his or her mind is the hated asshole. This is due to the fact that most people are assholes. At least 90% of the people we meet in our daily lives are perceived as assholes, the other 10% are weirdos or hated. And I actually have a little theory to support this.

It is called The Asshole Point of View Theory. In every activity that we do, from the simple act of passing a pencil to the complex act of organizing an ice cream party for a friend, there exists a possibility of an error to occur. When the error doesn’t occur, you would be safe from knowing the asshole side of a person. But when an error occurs, the asshole side of a person would surface. What this mean is, although a person might not completely be an asshole, he or she is still an asshole because his asshole personality would surface in some way(s). Let’s take a situation as a little example.

“Rage C., a midnight car racer, borrowed his mechanical pencil to his friend, Tapir Aci for a day. Then, when Tapir Aci wanted to return back the mechanical pencil, in the process of giving that mechanical process, somehow the spring broke.”

Let’s analyze this situation. “Spring broke” is the error that occurred. Now, who’s the asshole? To Rage C., Tapir Aci is the asshole because he gave the pencil to him and it is his responsibility when the mechanical pencil was with him. But to Tapir Aci, Rage C. is the asshole because Tapir Aci obviously did not do anything and he actually did took care of the mechanical pencil and yet he is the one to be blamed.

Here’s another situation,

“Mr. ABC ran into Mr XYZ and accidentally hit his balls”

Again, we have to find the error to be able to understand the whole picture. In this situation, Mr ABC hitting Mr XYZ’s balls is the error. To Mr ABC, Mr XYZ is the asshole because Mr XYZ accused him of being perverted sicko who pretended to ran into him just to get the chance to hit his balls. To Mr XYZ, Mr ABC is the asshole because Mr ABC was the one who was walking so carelessly that Mr ABC hit his balls whether intentionally or not.

See…????????

In conclusion, everyone is an asshole except for Mak Cik Dobi …

……......And many many many many other people who I know of. 10% of human population is quite a lot you know… ;-)

p/s: I might be adding some pictures in this post, so be aware of this fact. (But the earliest for this to happen is atleast 9 days from now)

A Pathetic Perverted Loser and Mat Ganja

During the last weekend, I was bored as hell and the boredom gave birth to something which I call bad music or sound pollution. They’re one of those things when after you listen to it for the first time you’ll go “What in the fucking world was that?” It is less than one minute so it should be painless since it is short. The title of this ‘song’ or whatever one might call it is, “A Pathetic Perverted Loser”

A Pathetic Perverted Loser
Vocals/guitar/everything else: me

One, two,
A one, two, three, four

*laughs*

Yeah.
Fucking asshole. Argh.. shit
One more time.

Get ready, get ready

I, masturbate everyday
masturbate every week
I look at myself
Such a loser in myself
Look in the mirror
See the devil in me
The devil says to me that I should do it again
Masturbate again
Die today

Die, die
Die, die, die
I kill myself
Kill myself
Kill myself

Die

I don't want to live

-TheGOZ-

Download A Pathetic Perverted Loser

Then, later that night a friend of mine, who I shall refer to him as F because I think his identity should remain undisclosed for certain reasons, did another ‘recording session’ and this time he played a song which is quite famous among the Mat-mat Gitar. The title for the song is ‘Mat Ganja’ or Druggie if directly translated.

Mat Ganja
Vocals/guitar: F

Oh Mat Ganja
Kita petik botol coca-cola
Sehari separuh sahaja
Kita kena sama-sama

Dapat daun kita lipat-lipat
Jumpa awek duduk rapat-rapat
Buka baju, buka seluar cepat
Kita main angkat-angkat

Wahai cik adik, abang bertanya
Di bawah pusat apa namanya?
Wahai cik abang, adik mengerti
Di bawah pusat namanya puki

Oh Mat Ganja
Kita petik botol coca-cola
Sehari separuh sahaja
Kita kena sama-sama...

-anonymous-

Download Mat Ganja

The Pedestrian’s Struggle

Do you guys know how sometimes when you’re walking towards a bus stop or a restaurant there’ll be this type of people who walk annoyingly in front of you in the same direction, but blocking your way and move as if they have eyes behind their head? Yeah, it gets pretty darn annoying. Even worse sometimes these people walk in groups and block the pedestrian’s lane completely. Such bastards…

The “I-Can’t-Here-You-Because-I-Am-Listening-To-My -MP3-Player” Guy

Damn, I get your point. You’re wearing Ipod earbuds; so you own the ‘most awesome’ mp3 player in the world. But you don’t have to play your music so loud that the people around you can hear that garbage. And if that’s not annoying enough you walk in zigzags. Let me see, if I can put this simply. No, it’s NOT NECESSARY for you to ‘walk to the beat’ or what ever it is that you’re walking to. Freaking monkey balls, I can’t predict your Brownian move brother…



The Slow @ “Kononnya”-Cool Guy

They are the ones who wear those stylish, gothic, emo, funky shitwears. I mean, dude, you look cool, I’m OK with that. Girls dig that. Kids dig that. But why the slow walk? And why must you drag your shoes instead of lifting them up and avoiding making those friction noises between your shoes and the floor? They are most annoying when I don’t have the enough urge to ‘overtake’ them but know sure as hell that if they’re away, my walk would be waaaay faster.

The We-Need-To-Look-At-Each-Other Groups

Do you seriously have to do this????? What I’m talking about are groups of people who just have to walk in long horizontal line(s). And these groups of asses usually force me to walk on the road and overtake them. What if a car hit me???!! What if!?!??!?!?!!!



***

Those are just few examples. There are indeed infinitely many other types of annoying walkers. In a nutshell, walking is a healthy activity but existence of idiots makes it less enjoyable.

p/s: I think I’m one of the guys in the first category. =P