A Handshake For Courtesy

A handshake. To some it might be just a gesture to acknowledge someone’s presence. And I agree with that and I believe it should and will remain that way. The ways of handshake might vary depending on culture and tradition, but at the very core of it, it’s just an act of two hands of two different individuals holding each other, jiggling. There isn’t any official rule for how one should pursue on doing this well-known motion so people as a whole usually follow what their elderly do.

Like I said before, culture and tradition are the factors that create the handshake variations. Take the casual ‘western’ handshake for an example:



The steps are easy. Grip it tightly, and shake your hands. Usually one shakes it once or twice but it doesn’t really matter. Plus even if one wishes to shake the hands more than twice or more than ten times, the steps will still remain simple:

Grip > Shake (as much as one likes) > Let Go

And since I’m from Malaysia and I am Malay, I am granted with the wealth of traditions and culture. Logically speaking, it is inevitable for a culture so rich to have its own variation of handshake. This is how the Malay handshake is done:



Still, this one is pretty simple. The obvious differences it has with the casual ‘western’ handshake is that it makes use of both of the hands and one usually do not shake but simply apply pressure to the other person’s hands. The steps are:

Grip > Apply pressure > Let Go

It is simple right? But you know what, life’s not that easy. For some people, they just have to complicate this foolproof, so-easy-to-follow act by adding, at times really complex additions to it. Brown-toothpaste! First, there is the snap-after-shake thing. Honestly, I think it’s pretty cool. Plus, if one of the two doesn’t know that handshake variation, he or she will just have to wait a bit longer before letting his or her hands go. The handshake will still look cool even with the lack of knowledge.



Those who know would follow these steps: Grip > Shake > Snap the thumb with the other person’s thumb > Let Go
Those who don’t know would follow these steps: Grip > Shake > (Wait…) > Let Go

But things can get a little confusing.

Before going to that, here’s a little thing to think about. If once you shook a person’s hand and they give you this variation and you find it OK with that handshake variation, would you snap his or her thumbs the next time you shake hands with him or her? YES! Of course you would. But no… this logic of reasoning doesn’t seem to apply to everyone. It is NOT always true. It’s random. RANDOM!!!

One might think that the complexity of the handshake variation has reached the end, BUT *BZZZEEKKK!!!* wrong answer my friend. It can get more complicated than that. This is true especially when you hang out with the same person who had introduced you the snap-the-thumbs-together type of handshake but now he or she is with his or her other friends. It usually happens at the end of a hang-out session. First, you’ll realize that they are using a totally new variation of handshake and probably you’ll go like:

“Should I follow what they are doing to each other or should I just simply act like a new guy and use the variation of handshake that I’ve learned from the dude that I met earlier?”

It is so freaking confusing!

Even if one gets through that stage, the evolution of handshakes doesn’t end there. No, that would be too easy for anyone with average intellectual level. What type of handshake should you use when you meet the member of the group or gang that uses that complicated handshake individually???

The answer? I don’t flipping know! You know what, why don’t we all just hug each other?



The act is so simple but it is indeed very intimate. But I wouldn’t want to hug a sweaty guy though. They stink. Even girls stink when they sweat but I think I shall reserve this topic for a different post.

And if you’re not comfortable with hugging, you can just give a pat at the back or just go back to basics and use the original handshake variation or the Malay’s variation.



Bak kata pepatah Melayu, marilah kita bersalam-salaman. Adat kita indah. ;-)